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I knowthat you feel as if you didn't matter and never mattered to Phoebe. Butyou were wrong. Yes, you were a spare tire, of sorts. Only to be used incase of an emergency. So? You always wanted to be a parent to Phoebe, butthis is precisely what a parent is. Someone who is there when their childneeds them." I wanted to be there all the time, Grace. In good times, too." Of course you did. And you should have been given that chance. Butthat's not always in the cards. That's the thank-you not every parentgets. When she was a baby, you got no thank you, did you? Surely you musthave felt the same as you do now; that you existed only when she neededyou. It must have seemed that way to her, too. She was hungry, youappeared and fed her. She was wet, you materialized to change her. Fiveminutes later she was sleep and you were forgotten. Why should itessentially be any different now? A parent...a good parent, anyway,doesn't look for anything back, not even gratitude. That's just a bonus,if you. He felt nervous and then when he saw Ian’s hand pull away and grope Jerry’s bum he grew excited once again. ** Jerry bought steak for dinner. Billy liked fillet steak and it so happened that it was Ian’s favourite as well. She made a point of emphasising the fact that they had similar tastes in food and wine. Billy’s favourite wine, Chateauneuf du Pape, was also a favourite of Ian’s and there were two bottles uncorked on the dining table. When she asked them both how they liked their steaks cooked she laughed when they both said ‘medium rare’.“So alike you two are, aren’t you,” she commented.Ian put his arm around her hip and slid his hand up and down the red silk material of her skirt; it moved with his hand. Billy already knew that she was wearing stockings having caught a glimpse earlier when he came downstairs with Ian after getting changed. Ian smiled at him. It was a smile of satisfaction. He possessed her now; Jerry was his possession. She may have been his wife but she.
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